Tales of the Oldest Interailer - Part 2
Wednesday 10th June 2015
So last night was spent in the most sumptuous surroundings a baroque style B&B with painted ceilings 15ft high, exquisite furniture and artworks that even my eye could see were beautiful. My room was air conditioned and had a mini bar. The bathroom was huge with one of those shower heads that makes you never want to leave, all for £75. Honestly it is worth the trip to Modena just to stay in this B&B.
Sadly I had to move on today and I find myself in Switzerland and the town of Bern. If last nights digs were an indicator of just how far I have come since my first Interailing experience 23 years ago, then tonight’s are just a bit of a yank back in to reality. If there had been someone to meet me then I would not have been surprised to find his name was Herr Rigsby. However it appears the Rigsby’s of this world have been replaced with automatic key dispensers. Which allows you to let yourself in, find your room and all without any human interaction.
So I have yet to actually see anyone in the building, but I do know they are there. How? Well because I can hear them, the guy in the room to my left has a dry cough that is so bad a family of Bedouins are currently lodging on his tonsils and the guy on my right, once he finally got settled released a barrage of gastric air that at one point actually threatened the whole neutrality of Switzerland.
Then there is the issue of toilets, I am sure it mentions it somewhere in the booking process but us three fellas Coughing Clive, Jonny Fartpants and me are sharing a bathroom. Now if I had seen that in the marketing speel then I am afraid that would have been a stopper for me but obviously I missed it and so I am now reaping the consequences of slothenly research. So the alarm is set super early so I can get to the shower first because as we all know there is nothing more likely to curdle the milk on your cornflakes faster than another mans pubic hair in your shower tray.
Just to top it off my room overlooks the railway station goods yard and I can report that at 1:15am the trains are still running regular as a Swiss cuckoo clock. On the upside I don’t think they rent the rooms by the hour and I have not yet been bitten by any bed bugs.
How was the meeting I hear you ask, because this is supposed to be a serious business trip, Well thanks for asking it went well but you don’t want to be bored with the details of that when you could be reading all about my personal discomfort. Tomorrow it is off to Nuremburg for a chat with the guys from Kurtz, I promise to bring you something a little more industry related then.